March 2005     "I've known lots of girls that cut. It's become a normal thing for girls to do." - 16 year old actress Evan Rachel Wood (Tracy in movie "Thirteen") as quoted in USA Weekend Self-mutilation has become one of the most alarming trends for teens in the past few years. Cutting, a form of self-mutilation is defined as "the commission of deliberate harm to one's own body. The injury is done to oneself, without the aid of another person and is severe enough for tissue damage (scarring) to result." (cpyu.org) Typical teens who struggle with self-mutilation are middle to upper middle class girls who are considered high achievers and perfectionists, but have low self-esteems and an inability to share their feelings in a healthy way. Guys and girls alike can struggle with this. The question is why does a teen want to inflict so much pain on themselves? First, teens who harm themselves say they do it because it makes them feel better. A day of stress, anger and frustration can all be alleviated by the repetitious cutting sensation. Second, teens who struggle with self-mutilation say that "cutting" helps them feel alive. Many of these teens feel nothing in their lives, and self-mutilation reminds them that they are not dead. Third, it is considered by many teens to be the "cool" thing to do. According to teenpeople.com, there are hundreds of teen chat rooms where teens share their favorite "cutting" techniques. What is even more disturbing is that teens are being invited to "cutting clubs" where club members compete to see who can hurt themselves the most. If you suspect your teen is struggling with this issue, you must take the first step to intervene. This behavior will not stop just because you have a conversation with your teen. Seek help from a licensed Christian counselor who is trained and equipped to help teens understand how to cope with life in a healthy and God-honoring way. Hello From Pastor Tim What a fun two months this has been. The temperature has not gotten above 70 once and it's still looking like Christmas. One of the cultural things that I've noticed is that so many people keep their Christmas lights up a long time here. In Texas they come down the weekend after New Years at the latest. Interesting... This month's newsletter is a heavy, heavy issue. Blessings to you if you're household is facing this. Please call me so we can begin the process of getting help. (715-582-3655) I'm including a back issue of the Parentlink in order to keep from missing some of the topics that were covered in months past that are continuing problems. Tim P.S. If you weren't in the service on the Sunday before Valentine's then you will not understand the running commentary on my life found in the Calendar. If you were there, it's a sin to make fun of people! Here are some very alarming statistics regarding physically self-destructive behaviors. At what age did you begin self-injury? 2% - 21 years or older 3% - 19-21 years old 16% - 16-18 years old 16% - 11 years and younger 64% - 12 - 15 years old self-injury.net Here are the injurious acts self-mutilators say they've done to themselves: 72% - Cutting 35% - Burning 30% - Self-hitting 22% - Interference with wound healing 10% - Hair pulling 8% - Bone breaking cpyu.org

	There is a strong chance your teen knows someone who struggles with self-mutilation. Here are some questions to use to help discuss this difficult issue with your teen... 1. Have you ever heard of self-mutilation before? How would you describe it? Do you know of anyone that struggles with self-mutilation? 2. Where would you go to get help for yourself or for a friend dealing with self-mutilation? 3. Do you think self-mutilation is a problem in your school and with your friends? Why or why not? 4. When you get angry or depressed, how do you deal with that kind of stress? What are some healthy ways to deal with the way you feel?		Pray that... 1. God will provide a place where your teen feels safe to share their feelings in a healthy and God-honoring way. 2. God will give you or your teen the words to say to confront a friend or family member who is practicing self-mutilation. 3. God will open your eyes to warning signs that could save your teen from any destructive behavior, including self-mutilation. 4. God will allow your teen to find their self-worth and value from God alone. Youth Rally Who: All Jr./Sr. High Schoolers What: Music, Skits, Videos, Comedy, and Lip Synch Contest When: Sunday, March 6th 6:00-8:30 PM Where: Faith Baptist Church Why: FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN I want to invite parents to be a part of this event as well. We will use one of the class rooms (Preferrably the one with all of the couches) for parents to spend time getting to know one another and praying for the kids in the rally. I'm hoping that this can be a ministry that the parents have for their kids as well as to each other. You are the most important influence in your teen,s life. I have been praying for the parents in this community on a regular basis. You have my respect and my support. Blessings, Tim P.S. The Jr. Highers are going to have a lock in on the 18th at the church. If you're interested in staying up all night let me know.
	Did you know... * The average self-mutilator begins at age 14 and continues the practice, usually with increasing severity, into his/her late 20's. (cypu.org) * There is an estimated 2 to 3 million people who self-mutilate in the United States. (newsweek.com) * Some experts theorize that cutting releases beta-endorphins (aka the brain's "feel-good" chemicals) which act as the body's own opiates, leading to feelings of pleasure or being high. As in the case of drug addiction, the longer the habit is practiced, the more frequent and intense the "dosage" must be to achieve the desired physical effect. (cpyu.org) * Most of these self-injurers are female, 50 percent were sexually abused and many also have eating disorders. (abcnews.com)

	This page is designed to inform and educate parents and is not meant to endorse any product, music, or movie. Our prayer is that you will make informed decisions on what your student listens to, wears, and sees!
	Dogwood, a Christian punk band, has been together since 1993. Though the band has "made the customary musical achievements and accolades, we are most proud when we feel like we are growing closer to each other." Dogwood's main goal is to let everyone know that, "there is someone who loves you and everyone has a purpose for living. We stand behind our beliefs in Jesus Christ and it is our hope that everyone who comes to a concert...will know what the absolute truth is about God." Their latest album,"Reverse Then Forward Again", was released in April, 2004. dogwood.ws Hats are just one way teens can be creative and express their personality. Here are some popular styles for guys and gals: *The Bucket Hat *The Fedora *Baseball Cap/Trucker Hat *The Newsboy *The Beanie *The Cowboy Hat teenfashion.about.com		Albums: "American Idiot" - 9/2004 "Shenanigans" - 7/2002 "Warning" - 12/2001 Background: Green Day began as childhood friends forming their first band and becoming a part of the northern California underground punk scene. Throughout the early 90's, Green Day developed a cult following. After signing with Reprise, the group released their major debut album, "Dookie", which sold more then 10 million copies and won the 1994 Grammy for Best Alternative Rock Performance. Personal lives (3 divorces and 5 kids between the three members) affected the band or vice versa. Green Day worked out their differences and released "American Idiot", the album that "took on George Bush and the war in Iraq". It earned them the recent 2005 Grammy for Best Rock Album. rollingstone.com Potential Controversy: "American Idiot" contains over 20 uses of foul language, slang terms and drug/alcohol references. This self-called "rock opera" is anti-American government and war. Parent/Teen Q&A: Do you think everyone is entitled to express an opinion other than that of the majority? In what ways are the actions of Green Day positive and in what ways are they negative?
	PG-13 is a popular rating this month. Will your teen be seeing any of these movies? TITLE RATING RED FLAGS GENRE STARRING Be Cool PG-13 For violence, sensuality, and language including sexual references Comedy Uma Thurman, John Travolta The Ring 2 PG-13 For violence/terror, disturbing images, thematic elements, and some language Horror Naomi Watts, Daveigh Chase Beauty Shop PG-13 For sexual material, language, and brief drug references Comedy Queen Latifah, Alicia Silverstone

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday     1   2 Small Groups at Church and in Pound. 3   4   5 Cafe night CANCELLED! Due to Game Dinner. Youth are invited to attend. 6 Work Camp Meeting During Food Fun and Fellowship at the Church. Youth Rally 6:00 PM to 8:30 PM 7 Pastor Tim begins to look for that girl in high school that he didn't hold hands with. (Reference to Valentine's Sermon) 8   9 Small Groups at Church and in Pound. 10   11   12   13   14   15   16 Small Groups at Church and in Pound. 17   18 Lock-In for Middle School beginning 10:00 PM Ending Saturday at 8:00 AM 19 Cafe night from 7:00 - 9:00 PM 20   21   22   23 Small Groups at Church and in Pound. 24   25   26   27   28 Pastor Tim finds that girl and calls her. The details of the phone call are too embarrassing to devulge. 29   30 Small Groups at Church and in Pound. 31

The concert is April 24th 6-9. We'll have a parent room for this event similar to the one at the rally so stay tuned for that. The other bands that I had in the newsletter for last month did not work out. But, God opened a better door and so we're going through that one. The bands are Spoken, Subseven, Staple, and Kids In the Way.