February 2005     "Make the most of this first meeting by giving your full attention to your teen's date and by asking questions that will allow you to know them a little more." One of the most difficult decisions parents face with teens is when to allow your teen to date! A lot of parents and teens find themselves on opposite ends of the spectrum on a variety of dating topics such as the age to begin dating and exclusive dating. While locking your teen in their room until he or she is thirty may have crossed your mind, it only delays the inevitable. With this in mind, here are some practical things you can do to bring about a peaceful resolution. First, encourage your teen to go out in groups. This builds strong accountability and eases the pressure of temptations that could come if two teens are alone. Second, get to know your teen's friends by making your house the "hangout" spot. This will also build in some additional accountability with your teen and their friends. Third, when your teen is ready to go on their first exclusive date, always meet their date BEFORE the date begins. Make the most of this first meeting by giving your full attention to your teen's date and by asking questions that will allow you to know them more. Fourth, make sure your teen and their date know what you expect. Asking a few practical and basic questions such as, "Where are you going?" and "What time will you be back?" will send the message loud and clear that your permission must be received before decisions are made with or for your teen. Fifth, PRAY and ask God to protect your teen as well as keep you from having a nervous breakdown during this season of change and growth. Pray also for God-honoring dates for your teens! Hello From Pastor Tim I just want to say thanks to those who gave such positive feedback on the newsletter for January. I have to give credit where credit is due. This is a resource that is put together for the purpose of youth leaders communicating better with parents. So, thank you Parentlink for the resource! Also, I want to let you know that my first month at the church has been exciting and filled with so many brand new experiences including having salt stains on my shoes, having to put heet in my gas tank, and the realization that everything and I mean everything paved has to be plowed and that snow can sure pile up! Oh well, God is good. Here are some interesting findings on the issue of teen dating from both the teen and parent perspective! Where have you (teens) learned the most about love and relationships? 58% - Friends 49% - Mother 41% - Television 37% - School 30% - Father 25% - Brother or Sister 25% - Books harrisinteractive.com When will (would) you let your daughter date? Parents responded with the following: 26% - 13 years 47% - 15 years 17% - 18 years 10% - Over 18 years parenthoodweb.com

	The topics of dating and relationships are constantly on parents' minds once teens hit a certain age! Start communicating with your teen about this topic by asking the following questions: 1. What qualities or attributes are you looking for in a spouse? From your answer, now rank them in order of importance. 2. How old do you think you should be to go on a group date? How old do you think you should be to go on a date alone? Why do you think this way? 3. What boundaries do you have in place to keep you protected on a date? What happens and what will you do if someone steps over the boundary line? 4. Do you believe it's OK in a dating relationship to say the words "I love you" to the person you are dating? Why or why not?		Pray that: 1. God will give you wisdom and discernment as you make the hard decision of allowing your teen to begin dating. 2. God will protect your teen on every aspect of a dating relationship, including what they do and where they go. 3. God will prepare your teen's heart as they interact and understand how relationships work. 4. God will provide the perfect mate for your teen, and that when they get older they will have a successful and fruitful marriage. Youth Concert I want to tell you about something that is in the works. We are going to be hosting another concert. This one is with Falling Up, Hawk Nelson, and Seventh Day Slumber. These guys really have a heart for the Lord and have a positive message. One thing different about this concert is that we are going to have a room for parents to be praying for their teen and the other teens from the community while the concert is happening. I know that you want to have a safe place to send your teen knowing that they are being entertained in a positive place. This is it…or at least one of those places. And you personally can have an impact. The plan is to have a prayer guide as well as coffee provided by the Joyful Noise. Don’t miss this opportunity.
	Talking to your teen about dating is so important. Here are some great facts to discuss with your teen: * A recent survey of over 300 successful, long-term marriages indicates that for both men and women the matter of friendship is considered to be the most important ingredient of all. (troubledwith.com) * Eight in ten young people (78%) believe that everyone has a "true love," and girls are more likely than boys to believe this (83% vs. 73%). In addition, half of young people (53%) believe in love at first sight. (harrisinteractive.com) * Research finds that girls who date men that are much older, are more likely to use drugs and alcohol and to engage in early sexual behavior. (extension.umn.edu) * Fifty-six (56%) percent of teenage girls report that their parents have rules about how late they can stay out on a date compared to 38% of teenage boys. (harrisinteractive.com)

	This page is designed to inform and educate parents and is not meant to endorse any product, music, or movie. Our prayer is that you will make informed decisions on what your student listens to, wears, and sees!
	L. Spenser Smith was a child prodigy who sang, played numerous instruments and preached by age 17. His debut album, L. Spenser Smith and Testament's "Assignment No. 1", has tight grooves, original lyrics and well-blended vocals." His family's love for all types of music helped shape him as a musician. He states, “I guess it’s the preacher in me, but it bothers me when the Gospel message of a song gets buried behind all the production. Content is what makes a Gospel song Gospel, and it’s very important to me that people hear what our songs are saying lyrically, as well as to feel it musically.” emtro.com What is the hottest trend for spring 2005? 62% - Miniskirts 18% - Stripes 5% - Raffia bags 13% - Skirt over pants kidzworld.com		Albums: "Get Lifted" - 12/2004 "Solo Sessions, Vol. 1: Live at the Knitting Factory" - 1/2004 Background: This singer, songwriter, pianist, arranger and producer, John Legend, was a child prodigy. He began singing gospel music and playing the piano at age five. Legend left Ohio at age 16 to go to college. After college, he moved to New York where he began building a loyal fan base. His popularity and exposure grew as he collaborated with or wrote for such artists as Lauryn Hill, Alicia Keys, Janet Jackson, Black Eyed Peas and Britney Spears. Legend served as choir director for 9 years at a church just outside Philly. Of his sound he says, "It's very soulful, rooted in gospel but with hip-hop beats and unique, witty lyrics...more of a 'feel good,' upbeat sound." johnlegend.com Potential Controversy: "Get Lifted" explores the good and bad of relationships while two songs, "She Don't Have to Know" and "Number One" deal with infidelity and "Let's Get Lifted" has a very sexual overtone. Parent/Teen Q&A: "I guess you could say that's a 'guy' song (referring to "#1"). It's...saying, 'Hey, I know I cheated, but I'm a guy so what do you expect?'" Do you think there is a double standard for guys and girls when it comes to dating/relationship expectations? How does that affect your dating practices?
	Comedy seems to be the theme at the movies this month, but will you think it is funny for your teen to see these films? You decide! TITLE RATING RED FLAGS GENRE STARRING The Wedding Date PG-13 For sexual content including dialogue Comedy Debra Messing, Dermot Mulroney Hitch PG-13 For language and some strong sexual references Comedy Will Smith, Eva Mendes, Amber Valletta Son of the Mask PG For action, crude and suggestive humor and language Comedy Jamie Kennedy, Alan Cummings, Bob Haskins

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday     1   2 Small Groups at church and in Pound. 3   4   5 Cafe night from 7:00 - 9:00 PM 6 Work Camp Meeting During Food Fun and Fellowship at the Church. We'll be discussing the Pasty Fund Raiser. 7 Pastor Tim gets back from inpatient treatment for his nervous breakdown, but still has a problem with drooling. 8 Youth Council Meeting at 7:30 at the Church 9 Small Groups at church and in Pound. 10   11   12   13   14   15   16 Small Groups at church and in Pound. 17   18   19 Cafe night from 7:00 - 9:00 PM 20   21   22   23 Small Groups at church and in Pound. 24   25   26   27   28 Pastor Tim finally stops drooling in public.

We are going to be meeting each month as we prepare for work camp. The final cost of the trip is going to be $450. We have several fundraisers in the works including everyone's favorite pasties and Subway cards. It will be important to make it to the meetings during Food Fun and Fellowship in order to get the latest on the fundraisers.