January 2005     "You must understand that negotiating with your teen is NOT a sign of weak parenting." It seems that most parents find themselves in a constant debate with their teens about many issues. As teens grow and mature, they want more freedom to make decisions in every area of their life. The question is how much freedom do you give them and which battles do you choose to fight? As parents, that is where the art of negotiation becomes key in keeping communication lines open. Some parents try to control their children by forcing them to do what the parents want, regardless of what the teen wants. This only creates more dissention and anger for every member of the family. You must understand that negotiating with your teen is NOT a sign of weak parenting. On the contrary, negotiation allows each family member to see each other's point of view while giving the teen ownership in the final decision. A teen needs to feel like they have a voice in their family. Allowing your teen to talk through their request will make them feel like a valued part of your family, regardless of whether or not they get their way. There are some things to consider during the negotiation process. First, there is a difference between negotiating and manipulating. Both parents and teens have used this unfair tactic before, so make sure this is not tolerated from any family member. Second, there will always be times when decisions have to be made by the parents alone. Having open lines of communication with debatable issues will give more authority during those times when negotiation is not an option. Hello from Pastor Tim This is a NEW thing we are going to be doing for parents to help communicate things that are important as well as upcoming events. Here’s an overview. The top section gives relevant info on issues that all parents face during the teen years. The Music Spotlight section isn’t an endorsement of the artist featured! It’s so parents can be informed about the music teens are listening to. pluggedinonline.com is another resource from family.com that gives info on current music and movies. The rest is designed to inform on positive trends as well as be an inspiration for you as you parent your teen. I want to communicate that I am on your team. I want to come along side you during this time of “crisis” called the teen years. You are the heart and soul of youth ministry, and every parent that has made it to the teen years has my highest respect-because you haven’t strangled your child-yet. Your teens may not be as frustrated with you or your parenting style as you may think. Hear what some teens had to say... Do you get along with your parents? 11% - Always 67% - Mostly 15% - Seldom 7% - Never (family.org) Are your parents too strict? 10% - Strongly Agree 29% - Agree 49% - Disagree 12% - Strongly Disagree (smartgirl.org)

	How would your teen answer these questions about your family's rules? 1. Do you believe that all family decisions should be made by the whole family? If not, what decisions should be made just by parents? Why? 2. Why is it important to listen to all sides of a discussion before making a decision? How does it make you feel when you are included or not included in making a family decision? 3. Are there any family rules we have right now that are unfair? Why is this rule unfair? How would you change it? 4. Do you believe that our family should have some non-negotiable rules that every family member has to live by? Why or why not?		Pray that: 1. God will allow your family to have some open, healthy and civil discussions. 2. God will help you to listen to your teen's point of view before making a hasty decision. 3. God will give you the power you need to be consistent and fair when it comes to major AND minor family decisions. 4. God will allow you to treat your teen with patience and respect as your teen continues to learn what it means to "honor your parents." Work Camp Muskegon, MI Muskegon is a small town on beautiful Lake Michigan, one of the most amazing lakes in the world with a multitude of recreational activities. Tourism provides plenty of seasonal work but little opportunity to earn a decent living. And, despite the richness and beauty the lakes offer, the area has been greatly affected by the loss of a number of businesses leaving the area. Many Muskegonites live in homes needing routine repairs they can’t afford. Like Betty, an 80-year-old woman who lives by herself and can't afford to heat her home in the winter, let alone pay for needed home repairs—replace a few boards, paint the house, patch the roof. There are lots of people like Betty in Muskegon who would love to meet you! Dates: July 31-Aug. 6 Registration Fee: $75 Total Cost: TBA Registration Deadline: Wednesday, February 2 Turn Your Money in to Leslie Liesch
	How is the communication between you and your teens? Some of these facts may surprise you. * When families do spend time together, the communication is not getting through. For instance, parents may think that they talk to their children about values and beliefs on a frequent basis (64%), but teens are only hearing it 41% of the time! (ymca.net) * A recent survey of teens found 70% of those polled believe adults really listen when teens talk about their worries. That means 3 out of 10 kids say adults don't listen. (charlotte.com) * When it came to fighting, 1 in 5 children argued a lot with their parents, while 17% wished that they and their parents got along better. (nfpi.org) * Many parents find that giving teens more responsibility in non-dangerous areas (like selecting their own clothes or choosing their bedtime) while keeping control over more important and potentially harmful situations helps teens grow into responsibility. (University of Delaware)

	This page is designed to inform and educate parents and is not meant to endorse any product, music, or movie. Our prayer is that you will make informed decisions on what your student listens to, wears, and sees!
	Daniel's Window has been worshipping together for five years. After playing in coffee houses and churches, DW captured the top spot at 1999's Seminar in the Rockies Christian artist competition. DW signed with True Records and released 2000's "It's a Mystery." Signing with a new label in 2002 brought, "a more edgy, alternative rock base with a hearty dose of hip-hop." Their music is said to reach "younger audiences while older folks will be happy with DW's dedicated approach to ministry." Their album, "Illuminate" contains gospel flavored riffs with soulful and easy-to-learn lyrics of praise and worship. (danielswindow.com) In a face-off between the PC and the Mac computer, the PC won in the following catagories: * Easier to use * Better to download music * Faster * Cooler interface * Better for graphic design The Mac won in the following category: * Cooler computer design (bolt.com)		Albums: "Love Angel Music Baby" - 11/04 Background: "No Doubt" Gwen Stefani is excited about the recent release of her first solo album. Stefani used to be the lead singer and front woman for No Doubt where she sold over 20 million albums. She is very unique in that she has performed stadium tours across American with groups such as Blink 182, played Leonardo Di Caprio's girlfriend in "The Aviator" and has also sung on a Grammy-winning hip-hop anthem with Eve. This multifaceted artist is very much in the spotlight right now and her album is expected to be a hit. contactmusic.com Potential Controversy: In her most recent album "Love Angel Music Baby", several songs contain sexually charged innuendoes including "Bubblegum Electric" and "Crash." The song "Hollaback Girl" deals with a girl confronting another girl about lies and rumors while using offensive language throughout the song. Parent/Teen Q&A: Gwen says, "...you can get a lot done if you push yourself. I made all my dreams come true of working with these people, even though I have so many insecurities." Q: Is it hard for you to believe that someone like Gwen Stefani has "so many insecurities?" What are some of your insecurities and how do you deal with them?
	Here are some new releases for the new year...check to see if they are worth seeing or not! TITLE RATING RED FLAGS GENRE STARRING Are We There Yet? PG For language and crude humor Comedy Ice Cube, Nia Long, Jay Mohr Coach Carter PG-13 For violence, sexual content, language, teen partying, and some drug material Drama Samuel L. Jackson, Rob Brown, Vincent Laresas D.E.B.S. PG-13 For sexual content and language Comedy Sara Foster, Jordana Brewster

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday             1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9 Pastor Tim's First Day! 10   11 Pastor Tim Starts work at the church. 12   13   14 Youth Leader Appreciation Meeting 6:30 in the Youth Wing 15   16   17   18 Pastor Tim realizes he's in way over his head. 19 Youth Video Ministry Meeting 5:30 20   21   22   23 Youth Video Ministry Filming Day after church. Bring $ for Pizza. 24   25 Pastor Tim stays home from work all week because he just can't take it anymore. 26 Youth Video Ministry Meeting After Church. 27   28   29   30   31 Pastor Tim has a nervous breakdown

The deadline for signing up for work camp is coming up on Feb 2nd. Don't miss it!