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The Parent Link Newsletter

September 2004

"Competition in any activity for teens can be highly motivating or dangerously stressful."

School has officially begun and so have all the activities for your teen. With most of these activities comes something we either enjoy or dread...competition. Competition in any activity for teens can be highly motivating or dangerously stressful. There are definite benefits to healthy competition. A sense of accomplishment, motivation to do and be better, working toward a goal, self-discipline, and learning how to lose gracefully are just a few. There are definite drawbacks to unhealthy competition, however, including high levels of stress, burnout, cheating, and even the use of performance enhancing drugs. It is important for parents to help teens find a balance between healthy and unhealthy competition. Here are some things to consider. First, teens mature at different times, rates and different levels. It's important for parents to help teens find one or two activities they enjoy, to encourage participation and to provide ways to excel. Second, watch what motivates your teen to participate in an activity. As teens enter junior high, they have a higher need for recognition and rewards, but they are still eager to have fun and be with friends. As teens move through senior high they become more able to reason, set and achieve individual goals and find a balance between competition and cooperation (umn.edu). Third, remind yourself you are not the coach, but their cheerleader. Teens will take constructive advice from their parents when they know encouraging and uplifting words will be there as well.

Want to help your teen be the best at their game? Here are some practical tips to help teens reach their potential:

1. Make down time a priority. Some studies show that teens need more than 8 hours of sleep a night - are yours getting enough?

2. Remind your teen to RELAX. School, work and extra-curricular schedules may have them sprinting from one activity to the next, but taking a few minutes to relax can be most helpful.

3. Eat the right things often. Eating fried, fat-laden or sugary foods can interfere with performance and put teens at risk for injury.

4. Train harder and smarter. Weight training and cardiovascular activity will greatly increase productivity. Increase amount or type of practice whether for sports or a musical instrument.

5. Work on weaknesses. Find out where your teen is struggling (reading music, lack of confidence, stamina or fatigue) and focus on improving those areas.

Unhealthy competition is there whether we acknowledge it or not. Check out teen's responses to these questions.

Do you know any student athletes who use steroids?

27% - Yes
73% - No

channelone.com

The top three reasons teens named for wanting to play organized sports are the following:

1. To have fun.
2. To be with friends/peers.
3. To improve their sports skills.

parenting.umn.edu

Do you know what your teen is thinking? You won't know unless you ask! Here are some thought provoking questions to open the lines of communication:

1. Is competition good or bad? Is too much emphasis put on winning in Jr. High and High School activities?

2. If you could be famous for any activity what would it be and why? If you could play any sport professionally, which sport would you choose and why?

3. If you knew taking a performance enhancing drug would greatly increase your chances to be the "star" on a sports team, would you take them in spite of the risk? Why or why not?

Pray that:

1. You will be an encouragement to your teen in healthy competition instead of adding to their stress to perform at the "perfect" level.

2. Your teen will have fun in competing in any activity whether they excel in that activity or not.

3. You will have a greater sensitivity to the words you use when discussing any competitive activity with your teen.

4. Your teen will focus on their individual goals to be a better competitor instead of comparing themselves to every other teammate.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly..." I Corinthians 9:24-26a (NIV)

Many teens spend hours training, studying, and practicing to be the best at any activity. What would happen if we spent that exact amount of time on our spiritual training? We would all be giants in the faith! These verses are a great reminder that our spiritual bodies need just as much training, if not more, than our physical bodies. As we think about spiritual training, here are some questions to ask ourselves. Are you running in such a way to get the prize or are you just sitting on the sidelines? What kind of training are you doing to work out your spiritual muscles? Why are you running for God's prize...for personal gain or for successes that last forever? Answering these questions honestly will help you focus on what is most important.

Did you know...

* High school students who take part in team sports and are also physically active outside school may be at reduced risk for engaging in risky sexual behavior and for using drugs or cigarettes. (Centers for Disease Control)

* The use of performance-enhancing drugs increases dramatically when teens turn 15-17 years of age. One-third of teens know someone who uses sports supplements and one in five know someone who uses performance-enhanced drugs. (healthycompetition.org)

* In a recent national survey, parents rated the use of performance-enhancing supplements and drugs as their No. 1 concern in youth sports. Yet, 81% of the young people surveyed said they had never had a conversation with their parents about the substances, and 69% said they had not received information from their sports teams. (theantidrug.com)

This page is designed to inform and educate parents and is not meant to endorse any product, music, or movie.
Our prayer is that you will make informed decisions on what your student listens to, wears, and sees!

This 4 member, Indie-rock band, Out of the Mire, has as individuals "experienced its share of failures, but the triumph over these struggles create deeply personal and passionate lyrics." Their music is said to have crunching guitar riffs, thunderous drumming, slamming bass lines, and scorching solos that remind a world in waiting that music and a positive message can combine, and are equally important. "When we fall down, he picks us up, when we turn away his love is abundant, daily we learn this truth as we make mistakes, live, learn, and try to love each other." (outofthemire.net)

If you look in any teen's wardrobe you will see that wearing something on the head is a must! See what type of cap won in a face-off:

What you would rather wear:
58% - baseball cap
42% - trucker cap

What will still be popular next year:
72% - baseball cap
28% - trucker cap
(bolt.com)

Albums:
Good News for People Who Love Bad News - 8/2004

Everywhere and His Nasty Parlor Tricks - 1/2001

The Moon and Antartica - 6/2000

Background:
This Issaquah, WA, indie rock trio, Modest Mouse, was formed in 1993 by vocalist/guitarist Isaac Brock, bassist Eric Judy, and drummer Jeremiah Green. They perfected their muscular sound in "The Shed", a makeshift practice space built by Brock on the land next to his mother's trailer. After a major label bidding war, the group signed with Sony. This year is said to be their breakthrough year as they have been a part of Lollapalooza tour and have VMA Nominations. With their album fast approaching platinum status, their popularity continues to grow. (mtv.com)

Potential Controversy:
Looking past the foul language in a recent interview with Brock, his attitude and music share a common feeling of apathy, negativity and promotion of drinking and drugs.

Parent/Teen Q&A:
Frontman Brock states, "I'm not really into God or any of that "stuff", but I'm pretty sure I got a visit from the devil. He visits you in your sleep." (lazy-i.com) Q:What do you think Brock means by this? Do you believe the devil is real? Why or why not?

It looks like Hollywood is using their usual scare tactics to lure teens to the movies. Be aware of what your teen will want to see this month...

TITLE	RATING	RED FLAGS	GENRE	STARRING
Vanity Fair	PG-13	For some sensuality/partial nudity, and a brief violent image	Drama	Reese Witherspoon, James Purefoy
Wicker Park	PG-13	For sexuality and language	Drama/Thriller	Josh Hartnett, Matthew Lillard
Resident Evil: Apocalypse	R	For non-stop violence, language, and some nudity	Horror/Science-Fiction	Milla Jovovich, Jared Harris