April 2004     "Remember you are not alone, so humble yourself and seek God for advice." "When can I start dating" is a question that is asked by millions of teens everyday. These are painful words to many parents because it is yet another reminder that their teen is growing up. With this one loaded question comes many tough decisions that all parents must make such as, "At what age should my teen start dating?" and "Should I allow my teen to go on a date alone?" Here are some helpful ideas to make wise choices when it comes to your son/daughter going on their first or not-so-first date. First, you must realize that true wisdom only comes from God. When was the last time you prayed and asked God to help you with your teen's dating life? Remember you are not alone, so humble yourself and seek God for advice. Second, communicate with your teen as to what you expect as parents and listen to what your teen expects in a dating relationship. I know this sounds like common sense, but it's amazing how many parents don't talk to their teens about this critical issue. One way to open the door of communication is to tell them the story of when you met your spouse. This will give them the opportunity to hear what you looked for in a mate and also to hear funny stories from your dating process. Third, allow your teen to be a part of setting up the rules and boundaries when it comes to their dating relationships. Fourth, always answer the who, what, when, where and why of dating. Obviously, your teen is the one who will choose who to date. As a parent, be sure you know the what, when, and where of your teen's dating life. Continuous open communication with your teen will answer the why in their dating relationship! When your son/daughter wants to start dating seriously, you need to immediately set some guidelines: 1. Never let your teen out of the house without meeting their date TWICE! If you say you must meet them twice, that eliminates the "Well, you can meet him when he picks me up" scenario. 2. Watch for the level of respect a date has for your son/daughter! If a date is going to wait for your teen in the driveway, beeping their horn, he/she will wait a VERY long time. That means this date will never happen!! 3. Make sure you know where they are at all times. Make sure you allow the date to tell you what they are doing. Also, make sure your son/daughter knows that any change in plans must be told to you in a timely manner. 4. Curfews must be established. Before your son/daughter leaves on their date, remember to state in front of both of them the curfew. That is a great reminder for your son/daughter and a warning for the date. How would you and your teen answer the following questions on dating? At what age should teens be allowed to date? 6% - 10-11 years. 15% - 12-13 years. 33% - 14-15 years. 44% - 16 or older. familyeducation.com Why do teens date? 47% - I don't date. I think it's meaningless and dumb! 26% - I get easily infatuated! 14% - I have only dated once, and that was to know the guy/girl better. 12% - To pass time... 2% - To fit in (it's hardly an option - everyone's doin' it!) writing.com

	Here are some thought provoking questions for you to ask your teen this month... 1. What characteristics are you looking for in the people that you date? Why are those important? 2. If you were the parents and making the rules, at what age do you think it is appropriate for teens to date? Explain your answer. 3. Do you believe God has ONE person for you to marry, or are there several to pick from? Why do you think this way? 4. What are the pros and cons of group dating versus one-on-one dating? Based on the discussion, which form of dating do/will you prefer? Why?		Pray that... 1. God will give you wisdom and discernment when you talk to your teen about dating. 2. God will give your teen wisdom and self-control as they deal with all the pressures that come with dating. 3. God will provide the perfect mate for your son or daughter as they grow and mature as adults. 4. How you treat people of the opposite sex will set the example on how to treat a man or woman on a date. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8 (NIV) Let's face it...teens are bombarded with images everyday that tell them that casual dating and the things that go along with this kind of dating are accepted and expected! That is why this is such an amazing verse for teens to understand and grasp. We must continue to tell teens that the truth is only found in God's word. To be noble is to be above reproach, to raise the "moral bar". We must realize that we are not always right, but God is. Being pure is to be set apart, to be different in this world. We need more young men to be admirable, to hold someone else, especially young women, in high regard. These are the things God would have us think about. And, these are the things we are to model in our lives so our teens can see the right example.
	Did you know... * Teens who were unsupervised for at least 30 hours a week, or roughly six hours each weekday, were more likely to be sexually active compared with those left alone for no more than five hours a week. (parentsoup.com) * David Elkind, professor at Tufts University states that teens under the age of 14 do not have the social and interpersonal skills that are required for dating situations. (Iowa State University) * Studies show it is the lack of supervision, not the family structure (married or divorced), that is associated with sexual activity in unsupervised teens. (hon.com) * Specialists who understand youth and adult development believe that people need a sense of identity before they can really be close to or relate in a healthy way to a person of the opposite sex. (Iowa State University)

	This page is designed to inform and educate parents and is not meant to endorse any product, music, or movie. Our prayer is that you will make informed decisions on what your student listens to, wears, and sees!
	Living Sacrifice formed in 1989. This Christian heavy metal band played in a few clubs throughout Little Rock until hooking up with their first label, REX Records, who released the band's first album in 1991. After a few years, some of the members left to do mission work, but by 1999 the band's line up was set. They signed with Tooth and Nail Records, their current label. Of one of their albums they say, "It spoke life and hope to those in need. It achieved its goal." Living Sacrifice is constantly growing and changing their sound. The frontman says, "Without growth, we stagnate and die. And without perseverance nothing of lasting importance would ever be." (livingsacrifice.com) Prom is coming...give your teen some fashion advice: * Ladylike designs - demure glamour from days gone by now revisited. * For the guys - fun t-shirts and Steve Madden tennis shoes to personalize the traditional tux. (prom-fashions.com)		Albums: "Permission to Land" - 2003 Biography: This four member UK band consists of brothers Justin Hawkins (frontman, vocals/guitar) and Dan Hawkins (guitar) and friends Frankie Poullain (bass) and Ed Graham (drums). The band started out playing throughout North London where a devoted following grew show by show mostly by word of mouth. As much as their music, their showmanship sets them apart with their big hair, spandex, flying V-guitars, and indulgent guitar solos. Their Atlantic Records debut album has been certified gold by the RIAA for US sales in excess of 500,000 albums. The band will be touring the US beginning in the spring of 2004 with many venues already sold out. (vh1.com and launch.com) Potential Controversy: This album contains numerous references to alcohol and drug use with an overall "can't be told what to do" kind of attitude. It also contains foul language too numerous to count. Parent/Teen Q&A: "Everyone is going, 'Argh, I’m so angry! Let me confront you with this! [Sticks up a middle finger] It’s my attitude, which is unique in that only me and every other teenager in the world is doing this!' That’s not rebellion!" Q: Do you believe this is the attitude of "every other teenager"? Is there a positive form of rebellion? What is the difference between that and the attitude mentioned above?
	These upcoming movies will surely be on your teen's MUST SEE list! Look what's coming in April... TITLE RATING RED FLAGS GENRE STARRING Envy PG-13 For language and sexual/crude humor Comedy Ben Stiller, Jack Black The Prince and Me PG For some sex-related material and language Romantic Comedy Julia Stiles, Ben Miller The Alamo PG-13 For sustained intense battle sequences Action/Drama Dennis Quaid, Jason Patric, Billy Bob Thornton

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