March 2004     "Please understand that God does not hate the divorced, but He hates the broken covenant and what it does to a family." No one ever enters marriage thinking that his or her sacred covenant will end in divorce. However, the facts still show that the divorce rate is about 50% in the United States, and that figure doesn't appear to be decreasing. Have you ever wondered how God feels about divorce? The best way to state it is that God hates divorce. He instituted marriage to be something that would last "till death do you part". Please understand that God does not hate the divorced, but He hates the broken covenant and what it does to a family. One question often asked is, "Why did God allow divorce?" When questioned by the Pharisees, Jesus answered this by saying, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning" (Matthew 19:8 - NIV). God did not pervert the institution of marriage, we did. Are you at the point where you feel like throwing in the "marriage towel"? Here are some things to consider to divorce-proof your marriage. First, realize that your marriage is worth fighting for! Did you know research shows the majority of marriages ending in divorce have average levels of happiness and conflict (family.org)? That means an "average" marriage can change into an "awesome" marriage with some work and perseverance. Second, allow time to pass before you make a final decision. There will always be stress and seasonal circumstances that creep into a marriage, but these stressful times do not last forever. Third, pray with or for your spouse. Prayer allows each partner to communicate in a more intimate way by allowing God to be the center of your joys, frustrations, and victories. Here are some suggestions to help teens cope with the transition and aftermath of a divorce: 1. Keep the Peace! Dealing with divorce is easiest for teens when their parents keep a level of communication and civility between each other. 2. Be Fair! It's important for parents not to expect teens to take sides. Teens need to be free to connect with one parent without the other parent acting jealous, hurt, or mad. 3. Work it Out! Teens will most likely want both parents to attend their activities. Figure out a way for both of you to continue an active role in their lives. 4. Maintain a Normal Routine! Keep your teens involved in their usual activities at school and with friends as much as possible. kidshealth.org Here are some interesting findings from Time and CNN on what people think about divorce. Do you believe it should be harder than it is now for married couples to get a divorce? Yes - 50% No - 46 % Not Sure - 4% What is the main reason for the increase in the number of divorces? Marriage is not taken seriously. - 45% Society is more accepting of divorced people. - 15% It is easier to get divorced today. - 10% Spouses are selfish. - 9% Changes in women's and men's earning power. - 7% All the above are equally responsible. - 9% Not Sure - 5%

	Are you ready to learn more about your teen? Here are some creative questions to ask your teen this month... 1. If you could compete in any Olympic sport, what would it be and why? 2. What do you think God says about divorce? What do you think the world says about divorce? Are these views opposing, and if so, how do they shape what YOU think about divorce? 3. You have just won the Academy Award for Best Actor/Actress, what would you say for your acceptance speech? 4. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your parents on their listening skills?		Pray that... 1. God will protect your family from divorce through increased communication, unwavering patience, and God-given wisdom. 2. God will heal the wounds of every person who has been affected by divorce. 3. Families will understand that divorce comes with consequences, but God's love is still unconditional! 4. God will help families understand that divorce is always the LAST option, not the first. "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13 NIV). Forgiveness is an issue that every person deals with at some point in his or her life. Letting go and forgiving the offender will heal the wounds of divorce, disagreement, or any problem for that matter. God is always faithful to remind us of the importance of forgiveness in our lives. First, we must understand that true forgiveness comes from God. God's forgiveness is based on the unconditional love He has for us through His Son's death. We can forgive only because the Lord forgave us. Second, forgiveness allows your attitude to change toward another person. No longer does bitterness control you, love does. Third, forgiveness takes time. The deeper the hurt, the more time it may take for the forgiveness to finish its course. All the more reason God's love is so amazing...look how much He has forgiven each of us!
	Did you know... * Studies show it is the divorce process, not living in single parent families, that affects the mental health of teens. Most teens have the greatest difficulty prior to and during the separation of their parents. Although many teens have problems in school, behavioral problems, and suffer from anxiety immediately after their parents' divorce, they have adjusted after two years. (University of New Hampshire) * A recent study found those who were unhappy but stayed married were more likely to be happy five years later than those who divorced. (family.org) * Teens who have experienced divorce have been found to grow up too early, "forfeiting his or her own childhood", in order to comfort or support a divorced parent. (familyeducation.com) * Since more than 75 percent of divorced parents remarry, and the rate of divorce is higher for second marriages than the first, the majority of teens whose parents remarry will experience a second divorce. (University of New Hampshire)

	This page is designed to inform and educate parents and is not meant to endorse any product, music, or movie. Our prayer is that you will make informed decisions on what your student listens to, wears, and sees!
	John Reuben grew up with his family in Columbus. The heavy influence from the inner-city kids around him led him to perfect his lyrical skills in open mic rap battles. At age 16, he purchased recording equipment which he used to self release his debut album. Reuben's most recent album, "Professional Rapper", is also self-produced and is said to be his most challenging and confrontational yet. Of it he says, "It represents human life and emotions, the good times and the bad times, the questions and the struggles." Other songs on the album deal with topics such as battling materialism and a false sense of happiness. www.johnreuben.com Who is the hottest teen right now? Hilary Duff - 33.33% Lindsay Lohan - 21.24% Amanda Bynes - 5.38% Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - 17.74% Raven Symone - 10.75% Other - 11.56% alloy.com		Albums: "Jackpot" - 2003 Background: Being influenced by such artists as LL Cool J, Nelly, and Ludacris helped mold Chingy into the rapper he is today. Growing up on the north side of St. Louis provided him plenty of opportunities to see edgy and rough situations. In spite of this, Chingy says he chose not to dwell on the negative and turned his energies instead to writing and performing. He began recording at the age of eight. He went on the road with Nelly in 2002. His debut album, full of "club tracks" and "party" songs touches on such topics as "having fun and beautiful women". Despite the raunchy content, his double platinum album went to the number two spot one week after its release. Chingy was nominated for three Billboard Music Awards. (sonicnet.com) Potential Controversy: "Jackpot" comes with a parental advisory and is also available in an edited form. His album contains references to sex, drug/alcohol use, foul language and violence all way too numerous to count. (AZLyrics.com) Parent/Teen Q&A: Chingy was asked, What would you change about yourself? His response was, "I'd say the thing I'd change about myself is my money. It'll be super long. (Super long means having a lot more money.) Question: Is having money a bad thing? When does money become a bad thing?
	Here are the upcoming movies your teen will more than likely want to see... TITLE RATING RED FLAGS GENRE STARRING Hidalgo PG-13 For adventure violence and some mild innuendo Drama/Adventure Viggo Mortensen, Omar Sharif Secret Window PG-13 For violence/terror, sexual content and language Suspense Johnny Depp, Maria Bello, John Turturro Starsky and Hutch PG-13 For drug content, sexual situations, partial nudity, language and some violence Comedy Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg

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